So, you’re kinky huh?
Somehow, you’ve come to the realization that you are into some freaky stuff. Maybe it was through a long-time partner that wanted to spice things up in the bedroom. Maybe it was via stumbling upon some particularly freaky porn. Maybe you were surprisingly turned on by movies like Taken. Or maybe you caved and finally saw Fifty Shades of Grey and found that you were super into it. Regardless the avenue you’ve taken to finding your inner kinkster, you’ve found it and now maybe you’re looking to find similarly kinky people!
Unlike other less salacious interests, it’s a little harder to connect with people on a kinkier level. I mean you can’t just list “leather fetish” in your Tinder bio next to “I love dogs!” and “Let’s go on an adventure!” can you?…
Well, if you’re not willing to advertise your kinks on vanilla dating sites, then I have a few tips for you on how to find kinky people!
If you haven’t signed up for Fetlife.com yet you definitely need to! Fetlife is essentially Facebook for people with Fetishes. This site is a hub for the global fetish community, which means you absolutely need to get involved.
Here you’ll find information on munches and fetish events (more on that in tips to come!), as well as some seriously sexy content. A lot of people post homemade porn on the site which is great (though videos require some cash, but you get other perks too!).
There are plenty of groups and message boards for you to join and make friends on. Plus you can search by city so you can find some kinksters near you. People also use this site as a means of dating, so be sure to hop on this kinky app.
You might be asking, “what are munches?”
Munches are non-sexual events where kinky people can get together and talk about their fetishes, different aspects of “the lifestyle”, or completely vanilla things! This is a great way to connect with your local community and get to know those around you who are into the same stuff. Unlike play parties and other events this is a casual and vanilla place to meet up.
Fetish events are usually events where there is some fetish goin’ on. Common events are usually play parties where people are actively engaging in kink and possibly sex. This is the place for you if you’re looking to get laid, watch people get laid, or just have a completely lifechanging sexual experience.
This is where you’ll meet a lot of people, but it can totally be intimidating so if you’re scared easily, be sure to start small.
4. Look for the signs
When you’re out and about in the world keep your eye out for some signs that you might be encountering a kinkster.
One thing you definitely need to look out for other than day collars (necklaces that upon closer inspection might have some sort of symbol of ownership) is the BDSM symbol. The BDSM symbol is something that closely resembles a 3-faceted yin-and-yang sign or Triskelion. If you see one of these in the wild, exchange a knowing glance and maybe you’ll end up with a friend!
Whiplr is a location-based app that allows you to view kinky people that are near you! It’s pretty easy to chat and express your interest via this app (though it does drain the hell out of your battery).